Am I a good enough surrogate?

Back when I signed up for this whole thing, I imagined the relationship between me and the Intended Parents being absolutely perfect. We would talk all the time throughout the pregnancy, they would come to doctor appointments, and we would share all of the little moments of pregnancy together. The first kicks, ultrasounds, hiccups, etc.

Having Intended Parents that live in Paris makes that a little difficult. They were able to be here to see me at the early stage of pregnancy, but I wouldn't see them again until the babies were born, or shortly before that. Going to doctor appointments alone was fine in the beginning, but I was starting to feel like I was doing this all alone. Even though I knew E & S would give anything to be there with me, it was hard only communicating through email.

Sandy from NWSC called to check on me, and to my surprise E & S had expressed their need for more updates or emails from me. I felt terrible. I wanted to give them the experience they dreamed of. I just didn't know how. Sometimes I would email them and not get a response for weeks, and I didn't want to bombard them with emails.

But, I made it a point to start emailing them weekly. Even though I felt like I was sending them the same type of emails every time, I knew they would appreciate it. At this point in the pregnancy, though, there wasn't much that was changing. I was still not working, still having a hard time sleeping, and the babies were moving around A LOT. What should my emails really include? Ultrasound pictures, of course, but only when I had them to share. Cravings? Did they really want to know that I ate an entire box of oreos to myself? (Ok, maybe not that WHOLE thing... but close!)

It was eating me alive inside thinking that I wasn't the surrogate they had expected. It still eats at me to this day just wondering if this whole thing was what they had dreamed of. This was the only time in their life they would ever experience something like this, and likely mine too. I wanted to make sure we were getting the most out of it!