Getting prepared, as much as possible

After two days at the hospital, a completed 24-hour urine test, and not too bad of hospital food, I was sent home. My OB said that my blood work and urine test came back "normal" and she was ruling out preeclampsia.

If this was the case, why did I still have a headache? Why was my blood pressure still elevated, and why was I still swollen like a cow? I wasn't convinced, but I was glad to be out of the hospital.

I knew that while I still had time, I needed to get myself prepared for when I actually delivered the twins. That meant shopping for some travel size toiletries and getting some comfortable nightgowns to wear at the hospital. I was not about to wear a hospital gown the whole time, like I had to these last couple days.

After that was taken care of, I felt a little bit better. I knew that I surely wasn't going anywhere without that hospital bag, since clearly I didn't know when I would be admitted to the hospital again.

So, I was prepared, or somewhat. At least I had a bag packed and ready for the hospital. Emotionally, though, that was a different story.

I wrote this on my mom group on July 18th:

I am seriously miserable. I'm in tears because I'm so damn uncomfortable. It hurts to walk, to bend down to sit, to stand up from the toilet, to sleep, to do anything.

I feel useless because I can't take care of Peyton, my house is a disaster and all I want are for these babies to come out. 

It was one of the worst feelings ever. I could barely take care of myself because everything hurt SO bad. The doctors didn't seem to care that I had a headache that wouldn't go away. While I was at the hospital they threw all sorts of medicine my way to try and relieve the pain, but nothing helped. Morphine every two hours didn't even make a dent in the pain. I could barely sleep because it was uncomfortable, for one, and for two my head was constantly throbbing. What had I gotten myself into? And why didn't anyone seem to care?